


The Meister of Madness

by Abitscrewy



Category: Soul Eater
Genre: F/M, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-10
Updated: 2016-07-10
Packaged: 2018-07-22 16:18:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7445704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Abitscrewy/pseuds/Abitscrewy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The fight on the moon was intense, and madness still looms over Death City. Stein's mind has been warped since the encounter with the Kishin Asura, and it's starting to concern his friends.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Another Day

Light crawls its way through the window as the sun tries to wake up from the last day it had brought with it, and a small alarm echoed through the halls of the Patchwork Lab... Followed by a light groan. Stein moved his hand to the side and picks up his glasses, sliding them on so he could turn off the alarm and sit up. His eyes glance around the nearly-empty room and then back to his clock. It bore the usual Stein Stitches around it, and red numbers that read the time as 6:15 AM. He rubbed his head and stood up from the bed, cracking nearly every bone in his body as he stretches, before walking down the hall to the main room. His feet had that normal 'just woke up' drag to them, and he goes to the kitchen to get an apple. After taking a few moments to eat his apple, he noticed some kind of strange-looking shadow. His hand slowly went to reach for a nearby knife, but he stops and shakes his head.  
"Just seeing things again, I'm sure.." he mumbled under his breath, and stood back up. His feet drag some more, shuffling through the halls. After a quick shower he picked up the pace, putting on cleaner clothes and trying to get the blood stains out of his lab coat-- before giving up as usual. Things had been strangely silent to him since his weapon partner had found a new place to live, not to mention he broke down and scared the shit out of her. She had definitely tried harder to find a new place after that. He still felt quite guilty about that, but was currently going to be late at that rate he’s going. He can't afford to care. He drags his desk chair to the door and starts to walk.

 

It was about an hour before he reached the steps to the academy and started to make his way up the nearly-endless stairs, skipping at least three at a time. He's been doing this for years now, the same thing every time, usually some students lingering on the 40th step or so. He approaches the top and stops for a quick breath, but then resumes walking. He walks towards his classroom.  
 _It's the same thing every day,_ he thought idly, his one hand reaching up to turn the screw that was lodged in his head, his other hand still dragging his desk chair along.  
 _Why can't something interesting happen... Hm, maybe I should ask Spirit-senpai to find a Kishin to fight._ He walks towards his classroom, sits outside the door, and lights a cigarette as he awaits his students.

After a couple minutes, the regular first students there walked over. As they pass his mind goes through their names, mostly out of habit, he went through data.  
 _Maka Albarn, a scythe Meister... Her Weapon Partner Soul Eater Evans, almost a Death Scythe now…_ he waves slightly to them and takes a drag on his cigarette. _Ox Ford, and his Weapon Partner Harvar D. Éclair, a Lightning Spear wielded by Ox…_ He greets them as well as smoke lazily rises from his lips into the hot Nevada air. _One of those days, then…._ He gives one last sigh and waits for the other students. His head still goes through their names, but a few of them are new so he stops them. He chats with a couple shortly, observing each of their souls individually. One interests him especially. Once he asks her name, his mind started to make a new file for this student, as he does with all his students.  
 _Vinnessa Canri. She’s a Weapon, by the looks of her soul. Hard working, loyal, but there is something else in her soul… I sense some Magic, I think… She must be part Witch, I wonder how that worked out for her parents…_ He knows well enough that most pairings like that are hunted down and killed, the Witch either by a Meister from the academy, or by another Witch in their clan. He doesn’t jump to any conclusions, he’s not an idiot. She walked past and two more new weapons walk towards the doors. He greets them, but the one hurried into the classroom before he could even see her soul. An eyebrow raised, he looked to the sister who was left. She bows and says something in Japanese, then hurries in after who seems to be her sister. _They must be transfer students…_ he stretched and rolled on his chair across the hall quickly as he saw Nygus.

 

“Hey, Naigus? Could you get me a list of all the new students to me after class?” she nods to him and he thanks her. He cracks his neck and kicks off the wall, his chair screeching across the hall and into his classroom – though, it trips in the doorway and sends him flying to the center of the classroom… As usual.  
 

Stein turned the screw in his head, pulling himself up with his desk and groaning.  
 _There I go again…_ He pulls his chair up and sits back down on it, staring at his class for a moment when he adjusts his glasses. Class was long and tedious as always, just preparing for a test he knew only his top students would actually study and work hard for. His soul studies class isn’t normally looked forward to, either.

Once his class was over, he pulled the usual students back in for some extra time to study – Except for Soul, since he had to get to a mission with Maka – and as they study he brought out some paperwork he needed to get done. He made separate notes in his notebook, this was his homework. He found it somewhat boring and pointless, but evidently someone needs it for something, otherwise it wouldn’t be there. He’d rather be dissecting his newest subject, but he’s stuck here.

He looks up every so often to see if they were still studying, which most of them are. About an hour later he lets them go and continues with his paperwork, until Spirit and some woman came through the doors, kissing. He gave them one of his infamous glares, with that look of ‘if you do not leave right now I will kill you’, and the woman backs out. Spirit looks at Stein with a frown, and Stein turns to his paperwork. Mainly to annoy him, Spirit sat on the corner of his desk and picked up a pencil, fiddling with it a bit.  
  
“What’re you doing, Stein-kun?”

 

“Paperwork, Senpai…” Stein replies.

 

“Can I see?” Spirit edged closer, only to get another glare.

 

“Senpai, what do you want?” Stein asked, annoyance weighing heavily in his voice.

 

“Love!” Spirit replied with his best overacting voice, a hand pressed on his chest, his other arm outstretched in the air. He put his arm back down and the pencil on the desk, grabbing a scalpel out of the pencil holder. Stein keeps writing his notes as Spirit does this, not noticing the scalpel until Spirit mentions it.

 

“Why do you have a scalpel in your pencil holder, Stein?” he has a somewhat perplexed look on his face, but Stein shrugs and replies

 

“There’s usually more, but a few of the students today wanted to cause some trouble…”

 

“Stein, you didn’t..!!” Spirit’s eyes were wide.

 

“No one got sent to the infirmary from my class today, no. Look around, Senpai….” He continues his paperwork, and Spirit observed the room. The desks are set up somewhat like bleachers, and some of the desks have scalpels sticking out of them. One of Stein’s ways to repel students, who like to pass notes or chat during class, is throwing a scalpel towards them as a warning. The next time he usually doesn’t miss, but he’s never killed a student. Collecting human souls is forbidden, and he isn’t one to go against Shinigami-sama.

Spirit looks at him, and slowly puts the scalpel back in the pencil holder   
 

“O-okay then..” he gulps.

 

“Oh, hey, I was going to ask if you wanted to go on a mission! Sitting here doing paperwork must bore you to tears, especially you!” he noted this, mainly because Stein’s specialty is cutting things open; or into little bits and pieces. Stein lets out a small sigh and closes his notebook, looking at his weapon partner.

 

“What kind of Kishin? I could use a challenge…” he turns the screw again, and the clicking of it echoes through the room. Spirit’s shoulders rise to give off a shudder at the noise, but he stood up off of Stein’s desk and shrugs.

 

“Let’s go look at the mission board then!” he says, much more enthusiasm in his voice than Stein, who sighs and stands up off his chair.

After quite a while of staring at the mission board and letting other students pick theirs out, Spirit found one that was of course in Paris.

 

“You just want to go there so you can hit on women” Stein said, smacking him upside the head and reading about the Kishin.

 

“If we were going to go to Paris, I’d go for this one…” he chose another one and read it aloud.

 

“Feizal the Hellbringer… Large Kishin, levels two and higher, attributes of a Demon…” Spirit gulps

 

“Er, okay..!” and put the other one back on the board. Stein reads for most of the flight, and forces Spirit to sit near the window so he couldn’t hit on the Flight Attendant.

 

_What a letch… He has a daughter for Death’s sake._ He sighs and keeps reading. By the time they got there he’d fallen asleep, and his neck would be sore from his head hanging so much, though that isn’t a problem for him. He yawns and stands, exiting the plane and semi-dragging Spirit along.

 

“We aren’t here to pick up women” Stein growled.

 

Spirit frowns “You’re just jealous all the ladies are attracted to me.” That got him a good punch to the gut..

 

“We aren’t here on vacation either; we’re here to find a Kishin who could potentially wipe out a city.” Stein glares at Spirit again, and starts walking. Spirit mutters something under his breath, which is ignored as they walk around. Whenever Stein caught Spirit staring at women, he got a light smack to the back of the head. Stein didn’t seem too interested in the Eiffel Tower or any of the miraculous buildings around, he’s never been very carefree.

 

_He’s so uptight,_ thought Spirit, _He needs to loosen up and have a little fun. Maybe I can get him to stay longer once we defeat this Kishin._ He grins with determination and stands up straight. _I will get him to have fun!_

“Hey, Stein?” he asks. Stein looks at him, waiting to hear what he says next. “Do you think after we fight this Kishin we can get some drinks?” he kept his grin and Stein adjusted his glasses.

 

“You can if you want...”

 

“You won’t come with me?”

 

“Last time I drank alcohol my test subject didn’t make it. That was almost you.” He shot his partner a look that strikes fear into his soul. “You’d probably need a designated driver anyway, knowing you.”

 

Spirit scoffed at this. “Hey, I’m not that bad!” he retorted, only to get an eye-roll from Stein as he stops his walking.

 

“Hang on, we need to know where we’re going before we can fight this thing…” he sighs and concentrates, trying to find the wavelength of the Kishin egg soul. After a minute or two he finds it. “Found it, let’s go.” He continues to walk, his hands in the pockets of his lab coat.

Spirit stops as they approach the Kishin, holding a Soul above its mouth before Stein interrupts it.

 

“Collecting human souls is forbidden and if you continue to do so, I will have to take your soul.” He adjusts his glasses and gestures to Spirit, whose arm turns into a scythe blade. The rest of his body transforms as well. Stein caught him in mid-air and their souls connect, readied to fight. The Kishin swallows the soul and pulls a lamp out of the ground, running towards the two of them.

 

_Get ready to block, Stein,_  
In this state their minds are connected so they can tell what each other is thinking. Stein nods

 

_I know, Spirit-senpai. I know it’s been a while but I’m not going to be defeated just because I’m rusty._ He sighs and shifts a foot back, blocking as the Kishin swung the pole at him like a bat. He blocks a couple more attacks then moves in with his own, slashing towards the Kishins side.

The beast let out an angry growl before taking another swipe at Stein, who once more blocks and swings the Scythe’s blade around the lamp to flip it out of the Kishins hand. Before he could block, the Kishin had swung at him with its free hand, which was curled into a fist. Stein flew towards a wall, but stopped himself with the end of Spirit’s weapon form. He cracks his neck and chuckles

 

“Well, I was looking forward to a challenge!” he runs towards Feizal, twirling Spirit around him for easy mobility as he speeds around to the side and kicks his opponent. His eyes narrow a little as he noticed the Kishin has some armor, but his grin only widens at the opposing challenge.

The Kishin unsheathed some kind of blade from off its back; it had ridged edges and a spike at the bottom of the hilt. Stein quickly noted this and a symbol he notices at the bottom of the blade, and dodges an attack. He runs to the back of the Kishin and slashes at its armor, which starts to crack.

 

_We might need to use our Soul Resonance for this one, Stein._ Spirit reminded his Meister of this, who nods in agreement and dodges another attack.

_Yeah, probably will. That blade is pretty powerful, I’m trying to dodge but if I block can you handle it?_ He blocks an attack, taking another hit from the gigantic fist that was swung at him.

 

_Yeah just keep yourself alive! I can handle blocking; if you keep taking those hits on the side we’re going to have problems._ Stein jumps backwards to avoid an attack, his eyes narrowed towards the Kishin.

 

“Soul Resonance, then?” he looks at the blade, which holds what looks like the reflection of Spirit.

 

“Yeah!” Spirit responds, and they begin to resonate souls. Their wavelengths connect and grow stronger and Spirit’s blade grows, Stein running at the Kishin.

 

“Witch Hunter should finish this one off!” he grins a bit, sending his wavelength through his weapon and back to keep making their resonance stronger.

In a flash, the Kishin’s body had fallen and disintegrated, leaving only its reddened soul hovering above the ground. Stein takes a cigarette from his pocket as Spirit turns back human, and swallows the soul whole.

 

“I’ve always wondered how Weapons even eat souls that are bigger than their mouths…” Stein mumbles, “Especially since they can’t be cut up or degraded really… You pretty much just absorb its energy into your own soul.” He let out a puff of smoke, looking up at the sky as it began to get darker.  “Come on, we should find a hotel to stay at.. I don’t feel like getting more jet lag.” He wipes a bit of blood off his coat and looks around.  
“Hey did you grab a map? Because I don’t think I know where to find a good hotel” he rubs his head, and Spirit laughs.

 

“Of course I did!” he snickers and pulls a map out of the inner pocket of his suit jacket. After a while of looking through the map for a seemingly reliable hotel, he sighed. “Um… This one looks good.” He gestures to one “It’s a bit far away—“

 

“How far?”

 

“A couple miles” Spirit looks at Stein. “Why?”

 

“Let’s go.” He gestures for Spirit to follow him, walking towards where the map says this place was. Reluctantly, Spirit follows him. He knows not to argue with his Mesiter, mainly because doing so might get him dissected in his sleep, but it’s hard to win an argument with him even without a dissection or two being involved. Spirit frowns a little at his hope of going someplace fun was probably going to be squished like a gnat in a windshield-wiper, and he stares down at his feet.

It takes them a little bit, but they reached the hotel. ‘ _Hôtel de fleurs_ ’ was what the sign read, and Spirit glances at Stein for a translation.  
“It means Hotel of Flowers or something…” he shrugs, walking through the big red doors. Stein turns the screw and sighs out a puff of smoke, following in with his partner close by. They rent a room for the night, and Stein takes a quick shower before going to sleep. He didn’t use the bed though; he fell asleep in a chair, sitting on it backwards as he would his desk chair, staring out the window. Spirits snoring keeps him up for a while, but it wasn’t hard for him to get used to it and fall asleep. This isn’t the first time they’ve done something like this. They’ve been on plenty of missions where they had to stay the night at a hotel. That’s just how it is when you work for Shibusen. You travel a lot, kill Kishins, stay a night or two, and then go back to Death City and report to Shinigami.


	2. Back From a Mission

Stein woke up before sunrise, and manages to drag Spirit downstairs to check out of the hotel. They sluggishly head to the airport and manage to hurry and catch a flight to Death City with other Meisters and Weapons who had been hunting various Kishin around Paris. Some look like they were just dropped out of the Hospital so they could be moved to the Shibusen Dispensary, which is also common for Meisters and weapons. Stein knew he probably had some bruised bones now, maybe even a cracked rib. Nothing Nygus couldn’t fix. She is the school's main nurse, a Weapon for one of the other teachers. . Both Stein and Spirit sleep for the entire flight, and Stein woke up to find Spirit hitting on the Flight attendant. He grumbles and stands once they land, grabbing Spirit by the ear and pulling him aside. He gave him a swift, nearly unnoticeable punch to the stomach to knock the wind out of him, and smiles to the woman.

 

“Don’t mind him,” Stein said. Spirit tries to glare at him, but was too busy trying to regain breath he has lost.

They barely make it up the Academy stairs, Death knows how many there are. It’s a bit early for students to be coming up the stairs just yet, but that student he’d asked Nygus about was sitting at the top of the stairs playing an electric guitar of some sort. She waves at Stein and Spirit

 

“Morning!” she says with cheer in her voice. Spirit mumbles and waves, stuffing his hands into his pockets and walking in through the big red doors of Sibson. Stein yawns and waves lazily at the student, walking into the academy with Spirit. Another couple students greet them as they pass by, mostly greeting Spirit and shuddering at Stein, but they walk to the Death Room doors and knock. The doors open with a loud creaking noise, and let the two in.

 

One, two, three… Stein's mind started to subconsciously count all the guillotines in the hall down to where Shinigami stands. He was standing as usual in front of the tall mirror he has, in case students wish to report from the field. They can use reflective objects to call him, if they draw ’42-42-564’ on the mentioned reflective surface. Many Meisters and Weapons carry spare mirrors or pieces of mirrors.

 

“Hiya, hiya, hello, there! Stein, Death Scythe, nice ta’ see ya!” he greets them. Not a typical voice you would assume a death god to use, but it’s mainly to keep children from being too scared of him to even get close to him. Stein nods a bit sleepily, and when he opens his mouth he hardly contains a yawn.

 

“Shinigami-sama, we are here to report a success in defeating Feizal the Hellbringer.” He was very formal in this, and it annoys Spirit a little.

 

“Well that’s good! That Kishin was a tough one! A couple of our other students fought it and failed, they’re okay now though!” he gives Stein and Spirit a thumbs-up. Stein nods a bit and turns to leave

 

“I’ve got class” he mutters under his breath, walking through the hall. Spirit was asked to stay, which only makes Stein mildly curious. He’d be more curious if he were more awake.

His class is short and a bit boring, as usual, and afterwards he remembers he still has paperwork to get done. With a heavy groan he clunks his head down onto the desk, wishing he could sleep. Before he knew it, he fell asleep there with his head on his desk. The next thing he knows, someone was tapping him from behind. It was Marie.

 

“Stein? You shouldn’t be sleeping here, you know…” she had an annoyed frown on her face.

 

Stein stands. “Sorry… I must have dozed off…” he yawns heavily and adjusts his glasses. “I thought you were on a Mission,” Stein's eyes kept trying to close, but he keeps opening them. Marie looks at him with a more worried expression, and sighs.

 

“Well, I was, but I’m back now” she giggles and smiles at Stein. Stein couldn’t help but smile back.

She led him out of his classroom, her smile never wavering. “So how have you been, Stein?” she looked up at him, their difference in height made her neck hurt sometimes.

 

“I’ve been okay.. Tired, as you can tell,” he lets out a small chuckle and keeps walking, his hands in his pockets. “Collected another Kishin soul with Spirit-Senpai, oh that reminds me I should go see Nygus. I think I cracked a rib…”

“Why didn’t you see her sooner?” She’s just a bit confused. He probably just forgot.

 

“I had class,” Stein frowns, rubbing his head. “Then I got distracted by the paperwork I didn’t get done yesterday... Ugh…” he groans again, holding his side. “I’d better go see Nygus… See you around, Marie.” He waves to her and quickly walks off towards the Dispensary. Nygus was sitting in front of a door with a clipboard, as if she were waiting for someone. “Hey, Nygus,” he waves a bit, and then goes back to holding his side. That interaction just felt.. Off to him. Why wasn’t she upset with him? It’s odd. She was confused as well, wondering what was up with him.

 

Nygus looks up at him and stands “Hello, Professor Stein. Need something?”

He proceeds to explain to her the situation, and she brought him into the Infirmary to help get him patched up. He thanks her, and gets his chair before walking home. It takes him a bit longer to get there since he was walking and taking the slightly longer route, but he went anyway. He unlocks the door to the Lab and steps in, taking off his coat and hanging it up, pushing his chair over to his desk as he closes the door. He almost said he was home, but remembered no one would hear; so he decides to make some tea and do some research.

He has been looking up lore on a certain witch recently.

 

Anya the Blood Witch… Looked up to by other Witches, and can even control multiple Kishin as if they were puppets… That witch nearly cost Marie’s life. Mine as well. He reads through his notes, scrolling up and down the page to reference different journals to each other and check his accuracy.. After a couple hours this seems to bore him, and he idly starts to organize his desk. This little thing to keep him busy gets him started, and he ends up cleaning a bunch of rooms in the lab. He put papers into files and things in boxes and dissection tools in other boxes and found bins to put other things in. He has an awful lot of tools for dissection, and his favorites are hung up on walls in the rooms he uses. Except for one of his scalpels, which he keeps in a little safe in one room he hardly uses anymore.

Three hours of cleaning, and he finally gets to that room. He’s tried to get the blood off the walls before, but every time his head starts to hurt, and he gets dizzy. He figures it’s just a reminder of what he did to himself all those years ago, but when he sees that little safe at the corner of the room he just can’t help but step towards it, leaving the keys in the door. He sits down in front of it, and finds another small key in his pocket. The end was shaped like a rose, and had a chip in it, but the rest still works to open the safe. It seems to be the only thing in the room that isn’t covered in blood.

He opens its door and looks inside, observing its contents. A small, white, slightly burnt napkin folded up into a square, a bouquet of thornless blue roses, a single blue rose with a couple thorns, a white box with a black ribbon tied around it which sits on top of two sappy-looking romance novels, and in front of the box and the books was the scalpel. The handle of it was engraved with beautiful tattoo-like curves and shapes, and the blade is sharp and polished regularly. Stein reaches in and takes the rose into his hand, being careful not to prick his finger on the thorns, and brings it towards him. His eyes hold memories of the rose, which brings a soft, sad smile to his face as he takes in its scent.

 

It smells like her… He thought, sighing lightly and sniffing the rose once more. He looks up at a clock and tilts his head, then sets the rose back into the vault.

He locks the vault and stands, walking out the door and locking that as well. His eyes gaze around the hall for a moment before he goes to his room to get something from a drawer. A single Blue rose, thornless like the ones in the bouquet, though it looks newer. Even though the bouquet was old, they didn’t wither or die, for whatever reason they were kept alive.


	3. Alice

Stein puts the rose into the inner pocket of his lab coat and before he knew it he was at the graveyard. The clouds darken in the sky by the light of the setting sun still makes its way through them, and lights his way without the needs of dim street lamps. As he approaches the graveyard, a light rain had begun, but he doesn’t even notice. It rains only a little bit harder, but the wind is lacking so it wasn’t a storm. It’s just a light, quiet, peaceful rain as the sun sets. He walks among the headstones that honor dead loved ones, or even people nobody knew, his feet dragging as he approaches one near a tree.

The tree provides some cover from the rain but the headstone he was looking for was a few feet away from where the branches stop. It’s like the branches wouldn’t dare go near this headstone, even though they cover the others from the rain and shelter other people who would visit the graveyard. He looks down at the grave, his face nearly void of emotion, except for his eyes… His eyes hold sadness and pain, and the tiniest sense of guilt as he kneels down. The grave and headstone is surrounded by blue roses, all of them old by none of them withered, and some burned out incense that still smells like cinnamon. He smiles weakly, but it retreats into an odd little frown. He’s trying so hard to smile, but trying so hard not to feel pain.

 

“I made you flowers,” He spoke lowly to the headstone, “Like I did before… I remember you wore that one in your hair.. It was beautiful…” he takes the one from his pocket and carefully sets it in front of the headstone, which read ‘Alice Whilliams’.

 

“I’m still sorry that I scared you like I did….. But I’m more sorry I couldn’t save you..” His eyes glance to the ground then looks back at her name. He reached forward, his fingers brushing lightly over her first name, a tear rolling slowly down his cheek and into the crease between his lips. He sniffs a bit and takes his hand back, putting his head in his palm.

 

“I wish you were here. I wish you could really hear me. But you’re just a stone, planted in the ground above where you’re buried… I couldn’t zombify you like I did Sid, not even if I tried. Your body is too decomposed, and I don’t know where Lord Death put your soul or if that damn meister ate it…” he wipes the water from his eyes and sighs shakily.

 

“I wish so many things, but I know they won’t come true. Things like that are for children…. But… Things like that, were the things you believed in.. Love, romance, wishing on stars, far off places and princesses and knights who climb castles…” he speaks quietly, his voice hardly making it over the light sound of rain hitting the leaves on the tree next to him.

 

“I envied you for believing on such things. You were able to be a child, even if your father was abusive.. Made me sick, made me want to tear him open…” Finally he stands. “I need to go now… See if there’s anything to do elsewhere.” He turns, putting his hands in the pockets of his lab coat. “Visit the old orphanage or something…” Stein mutters this one last time, before starting to walk again.

The roses will always be there. No one dares touch them when they know who put them there, and not many people visit the graveyard anyway. Next year, maybe, he’ll bring more incense. She always loved the smell, and the smoke calmed her. So in turn, smoke calms him. A while after she’d died, he started to smoke to remind himself of the better things that happened with her, but now he doesn’t remember why he smokes; he just knows it calms him down. Along his walk, he saw that shadow in his peripheral vision, but ignores it.

 

 _It’s nothing,_ He thought, rings of smoke sighing from his lips. He’s seen it before, it’s familiar, but he can’t place how. It’s a long walk, and he started to hear it too. Scratching, dragging its nails across windows and leaving marks, dragging metal on the gravel and whispering in his ear. Words aren’t audible, but he knows he hears something. He tries his best to ignore it, and decides to mutter instead. He’s learned that the voices somewhat calm when he mutters, but it’s hard to think when it feels like nails are being dragged down your throat. This makes it hard to talk, too. He talked about a few things, mostly about Alice, and mostly to this shadow he keeps seeing.

 

“You didn’t have to be so harsh on her… If you hadn’t been her father we wouldn’t have met I guess, and that might be better,” He frowns, taking a longer drag on his cigarette.

It got a lot darker and a lot colder before he saw people, who would normally come out for clubs or bars, especially his weapon. Unfortunately he doesn’t see his weapon; he stumbled over his feet and ran into some guy. He drops his cigarette and stares at it as the man cusses him out, and slowly mumbles.

“That was my last one…”

The man seems angry, and pushes Stein back a bit. Stein stares at him for a moment then blinks, turning the screw.

 

“Sorry,” He shrugs, his hands sliding into his pockets.

 

“Sorry?” The man glared, “You should be, you almost cracked my rib!” Suddenly there were more men, surrounding. Some of them are drunk, others are just looking to watch or be in a fight. The first one has a knife in his hand, but this is just what Stein needs.

 

“Thank death,” He said, his head tilted to the side until his neck popped and he sighed. A grin creeps onto his face and he cracks his knuckles, getting a scalpel out of his pocket. “I’ve needed to blow off some steam and you come right along thinking you can mug me,” The grin seems to intensify, as if it were too big for his slim face.

 

“Come on! Let’s see what you’ve got!” He flips the scalpel through his fingers, a foot back in a strong stance to fight. It’s like a fighting ring in Mortal Kombat or something, because only one person steps in at first. He throws the first punch, and hits nothing but the air where Stein’s head was. Before a reaction was had, Stein was close enough to punch his opponent in the gut, then kick his knee so he fell.

 

 _I’m surprised they aren’t wearing masks or something. Let’s see,_ He punches another who came at him, and kicked him into another person who was ready to fight.

 

 _Blue eyes, black hair, short and spiked... Green eyes, brown hair, long. Tall, short, shorter…_ He records all the data he needs from their appearance right down to their soul wavelengths, and attacks using that. He amplified his wavelength around him, reaching it out to other wavelengths in a short burst of energy, taking out a few at once this way. He hasn’t done that before, so he ends up just using soul-forces through his palms, fists, feet, or head. He takes a few hits from different directions, but seems to handle things well until weapons are pulled out; deadly ones, at that. Bats, pieces of metal, broken bottles, knives…

He felt a soul approaching him from behind so he moves a bit to the side, and then there’s a bang. He jumps into action, pulling the weapon forward to hit the opponent’s head with his own, but after this one was down, he feels like his heart is bleeding. Another bang, and everything goes dark for just a moment, but he can hardly keep his feet. He coughs, spitting blood onto the ground. He scowls and turns around to the person with the gun. BANG! It just barely misses, grazing his side before he cuts through their heart. He turns around to face another wavelength coming at him; a larger fellow, almost as tall as Stein is. The guy throws a few punches, a couple hitting, and Stein started to feel others contributing to his pain with their own weapons. He tries the burst from his wavelength again, but tries to make it bigger. He felt his soul grow larger and shoot out around him through his body, a shock wave occurring before things go black again. This time it takes longer for him to wake up.

He is greeted with a migraine and flashing red and yellow lights. He kept coughing, almost unable to breathe. He noted the mask they have put on him, most likely oxygen, but seeing no one familiar sent his mind into that mode where everyone is an enemy. He jolts upright, looking for his scalpel –which they have taken from him –to no avail. Pain shot through his body, along with adrenaline. He lashes out, doctors pulling on his arms to keep him down. It seems all too familiar for him now, and it just made things worse. He tries to throw them off with their own weight, tries to slip out of their grips, but they push him down harder and bring the straps into play. He yells something, which is more slurred due to the adrenaline and the blood in his throat and mouth. They try to help him calm down but he only struggles more against the straps. The doctors finally pulled out some sedatives as they neared the hospital.

More bright lights shone as he is wheeled through the hospital, but it’s all blurry for him. He wondered if he had tied and was sent to purgatory, but soon he comes to the conclusion that that was a stupid consideration. He would’ve been sent to hell, not purgatory, so he knows he’s alive. Everything is numb, even the voices in his head are muffled; even the ones OUTSIDE his head are muffled. He closes his eyes for a moment, feeling a weight on his chest that seems to want him to do so.


	4. Things Always Get Worse

Stein isn't there for long. He always heals very quickly, considering his  previous experiences, but as he leaves he's greeted by someone. The head of a security team it seems, and she looks very familiar. She and her group wear uniforms belonging to some Death City-brand security task force, and she looks rather angry with him. Stein, however, is just confused. He has an arm in a sling now, since one of the beatings he took from a blunt object pretty much shattered his upper left arm.

"This is what happens when you disobey Lord Death!" The woman shouts, causing Stein to roll his eyes. His head still hurts rather significantly.  
  
"How the hell did I disobey him?" Stein snaps, holding his head in his right palm. He walks towards the cab the hospital called, but she stops him, putting a palm on his chest.  
  
"You should be in your lab on house arrest, Stein."

This sends even more confusion through his head. He doesn't remember having to sneak out at all. Maybe they're just joking, a prank sent by Spirit. He chuckles a little bit and pats her shoulder, continuing his walk to the car.

"You better be heading back to the lab!" She shouts, having two of the men from her squad escort him to the vehicle. Stein just keeps chuckling to himself, thinking this all a game until he spots that their little gadgets are real. He stops for a moment and the confusion returns, but the men push him into the car. He doesn't resist much, just squints and sets his head on his palm once he's buckled up. The hell did she mean, house arrest?  
He huffs, trying to think about how this could be true. That means he doesn't remember giving them the slip, or even the fact that he shouldn't have left. It didn't seem like he was doing a bad thing, at least not until he thinks for a long while. The car pulls up to the lab and he wanders in, passing guards along the way. Either Spirit got really elaborate, or he blacked out again and just filled in the blanks. He's in denial, he doesn't want to have a curfew. People telling him when to go to bed, when to eat... That just feels like the mental ward all over again. He's starting to feel more smothered, and as he sits on his chair and they lock the front door he puts a hand on his chest. There are more guards now, staring at him in the main room. His eyes slowly widen and he stands again, going down the hall to his room.  
More guards.  
Up the stairs, down that hall, down all the halls on the second floor.  
More guards.  
He just starts pacing through the halls, getting lost after a while. How could he forget something that important?! Now Lord Death might never let him leave. Maybe he shouldn't be allowed to leave. Maybe he's better off kept here away from everyone but the orderlies. The lab is starting to look more like an asylum. He's afraid to open any doors, afraid to find 'therapy' rooms despite the fact that he knows that's illegal now.

He doesn't even notice that he's on the ground, clutching his head with his only working arm. He can't even turn the screw because the other is in a sling. He can't tell what's real and what's in his head, he's hearing things and who knows how long he's been seeing things. Auditory hallucinations are normal for him, he hears scratching or whispering. Yet a blackout so bad ...  
He's trying to track down the last thing that was real before he started making up memories.

Alice. The roses. The safe, the cleaning. That was real. He would have needed a reason to leave. It had to have been real. He starts finding the actual memories; slipping past guards, even knocking one out before they could reach for an alarm button. He'd managed to convince Lord Death that he didn't need an anklet to track his location, but maybe now he agrees with that sentiment. His eyes open to the hallway, a little closer to the ground than he remembered being. His breath is shaky, this probably isn't good for his condition.  
  
Quickly he gets up and leans on the wall, heading to the nearest restroom with a mirror still in good condition. He  hastily dials Lord Death, and as soon as the call is picked up he starts rambling.  
"Did you send a security team to the hospital? W-Was that for me? How long have I had one? I'm going to start designing an anklet. I need someone to watch me while I work though. If I black out and something-- someone.. I-I don't know anymore. I d-don't care. If I start adding some kind of fucking killswitch that's only seen  by me then you need to stop me and snap me out of it. Th-then once I realize what I'm doing I'll have a moment and fix it and keep going. I can't endanger these people. I'm tired of hurting people, I don't want to keep hurting people..." His breathing got more labored, a hand on his chest again. If he weren't on pain meds, this would hurt a lot more than it's hurting right now. He's somewhat afraid that he's having a heart attack, but he's felt that before. This is a panic attack. He'd normally ask for Marie, but he knows she's gone.  
  
Yet Lord Death was patient, and then responded. This response triggers even more questioning in Stein's mind.  
"I'm going to send Marie over. She got to work early today. When you wandered off that day she was out looking for you, but wouldn't know where you went. When the hospital called, she wanted to visit you, well she did visit you!~ But you didn't remember. The doctors said you were mostly asleep. I couldn't visit, sorry about that! Anyway, Marie has been worried about you and didn't even know you were going home today. You should still be in the hospital, but I'm not surprised you got out early! Ya, you always did have a tendency to scare the doctors into releasing you early! Haha.... But she's on her way now! You'll be alright Stein, just try to relax--"  
"RELAX?!" Stein slams his hand onto the sink, cracking the porcelain cracking beneath his fist. "SERIOUSLY?! I THOUGHT MARIE FOUND SOMEWHERE ELSE TO LIVE! I THOUGHT SHE COULDN'T FUCKING STAND ME AND LEFT! WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS SO DAMN CHEERY?!" He stops and his breathing got even worse. His throat feels like it's closing up as he inhales, and everything is fuzzy again. Dark spots start coming in around him for moments at a time. He's not getting enough oxygen, feeling claustrophobic. "I c-can't.." He huffs, a noise of pain slipping through him before he runs off. He scares the hell out of the guards in that hall, running all the way up the stairwell to the roof. He runs to the edge and stops, then collapses onto his hands and knees. Instinctively, his left arm moves just slightly. He doesn't even notice the pain, trying to focus on being outside. He's not inside. He's not restrained. He's not in a straitjacket or strapped down to a bed. He's not in solitary confinement. The sling makes him think otherwise, but that's quickly remedied. He tears the thing off and throws it off the roof... Marie is coming, everything will be fine.

He  leans against one of the structures, holding his head and trying to rein in tears. It hardly works... He's exhausted, tired of always being strong. He broke his own facade, and now he has to deal with the backlash. The extra oxygen is helping though, and he doesn't even notice how much time has passed.  
He's still crying when Marie arrives. He hears her voice at the bottom of the lab, asking where he is. Her wavelength is already soothing, and she's not even trying. She gets to the roof and runs over, grabbing his hand. She scolds him for running off and then shouts about how he got himself hurt.

"I'm glad you're okay but please don't do that again!!"  
Stein is just.. Very glad to see her. He drops his head onto her shoulder, grasping at the fabric on her shoulder with his right hand. His left arm just hangs limply on her lap, and he continues to cry. He mutters apologies and doesn't even try to make excuses. She kind of makes it out and pulls him a little closer.  
"I'm not your mother.. Don't tell me you're sorry okay?" She sighs. "I can't watch you all the time... But I'll stick with you if you think you can get through this. The fight on the moon put us all through hell.. Lord Death says he thinks some of the madness has nested in your soul or.. Something. I can't understand him half the time." She strokes circles on his back, feeling him relax through the tips of her fingers. Talking seems to be helping too, and if it's not helping him it's helping her. She talks for a long while, about lots of things. How it's going at the academy, how she thought he was fine since he managed to go on a mission with Spirit. He'd convinced Lord Death he'd be okay on the mission, which he was, but he came back and so did his illness.

"You ran out of meds again and forgot to tell me, didn't you.." She frowned. "It's fine. We'll get it refilled. Meanwhile, you need to come downstairs. It's getting late and cold and I'm freezing my ass off." She helps him up, and he leans on her as he walks. His breakdown has settled into apathy, that hollow feeling settling in his chest. He's lead to his room and set in a sitting position on his bed. Marie sits next to him and keeps tracing circles on his back. The night is quiet, and he doesn't sleep, but she falls asleep around two in the morning...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was my most recent update. Everything before this was around three-four years ago.


	5. But Then, Sometimes it Gets Better.

  He doesn't sleep. There's too much on his mind. He can't sleep, he feels a paranoia scratching at the back of his mind. For a while he cries and can't stop, once Marie's fallen asleep that is. He's never been okay with her seeing him cry. He's never been okay with anyone seeing him cry but that's another issue entirely. He feels emotions to be needless, tedious wasters of time. Logic is something proper, leads to good decisions for the most part.

Stein spends most of that night avoiding a breakdown. He rubs at his arms and scratches at the back of his neck until it's raw. There's a bit of blood on his fingertips by sunrise. He just does it without even noticing, he hardly even feels it. He's too busy focusing on a part of the wall. He has no idea what's real, everything fell apart when Death told him Marie was okay, that Marie would see him. Marie visited him. How could he forget something like that? He's ashamed, a burning hatred for himself beginning again. Why does he have to be this way? His mind is in shreds, yet Marie and the others insist on trying to fix it. They just end up hurt in some way. When a man has no way of telling what's real, then who can convince him?  
He might think that they're just another trick, another vision brought on by a mental illness.

Illness.. Like he's sick.

But he is sick; He's a sick twisted sadistic bastard who belongs in a mental institution.  
 _Don't think like that.. I can't think like that... Marie's going to get me my meds again.. Then you'll all just... Leave me alone._

The professor rubs his head with his right hand, his left back in the sling. Marie had pretty much forced him back into it eventually, his arm needs to heal. It was pretty much shattered and he knew it, but just didn't care. His head is what concerns him, aching and creaking. He can't turn the screw as he normally would, his right hand reaches but the angle is all wrong. It just makes an awful noise like a rusty metal door that squeaks when you open it. He tried it once that night, nearly woke Marie up.

* * *

 

 

  But now it's Sunrise, and he decides to get up. He notices the guards now; feels like they're breathing down his neck. He can't help but be paranoid and a little shaky. He can't really control it. So what does he do?  
Smoke, of course. What else would he do? He's going to need a new pack soon.

Stein lit a cigarette, standing at the stove with the fan on. The smoke travels up in different shapes. Rings, skulls.. Eventually he sits down on a chair to smoke, too tired to stand. Not even the pain, he still doesn't notice it. He's numb in both body and mind. A haze of dissociation takes him, and he doesn't mind two hours and half a pack pass. The only reason he notices is because Marie comes in to make Breakfast. She sort of figured he'd come here to smoke, didn't have much worry there.

She's a decent cook, though recently she's had time to learn. Not much to do after Asura was trapped on the moon, so she decided to hone her skills a bit. She makes two omelettes, offering one to Stein. He's still fuzzy so his body is just sort of on auto-pilot. He sat at the island in the center of the kitchen, having no problem eating the food presented to him.  
Despite what Marie thinks of her own cooking, Stein loves whatever she makes. Anything is better than char and a potential injury.  
Stein does well with microwaves and toasters, and he can cut things _very_ well.

Unfortunately for him, apparently he's not allowed sharp objects. He didn't notice, but all scalpels and such were removed from general rooms. His bedroom, the living room, the bathrooms. The Kitchen is the only place to find them, and they're all locked to some incredibly strong magnet. It's only to be turned off with Marie's thumb-print, like he's living in a sci-fi novel. Except he invented it apparently, before he ran out of meds. He sort of frowns at the thing from the side. Marie doesn't seem to notice.

"So, I got Death to prioritize your medicine at the pharmacy. I'll be going there around noon to get them." Marie states, rather matter-of-fact like. Stein seems relieved at this, nodding slightly.

"Good.. I'd rather not attack anyone. You know I don't need a weapon..." He muttered.

"Yes. I know.. So do they... From experience." Marie nods, finishing up her food.

**Author's Note:**

> Still a work in progress.


End file.
